I felt the hit. Immediately, everywhere, glass was breaking, my friends were screaming. My vision captured not much more than blurred lights and hazy images of the people around me. We were in the air, turning, flipping, defying gravity. Then, another hit. Only this hit was more painful as my head was knocked against hard pavement.

The next thing I saw was a fluorescent light bulb shining down on me. Opening my eyes seemed to be taking more work and pain than it should‘ve. In front of me was my mother and my father. That was the first time I had seen them together in years. They were holding each other, another shock. It took me a few minutes to realize where I was and to remember what happened. I heard the sound of a machine in my right ear. I couldn’t move my arms or even my legs. I couldn’t turn my head or open my mouth. I was frozen.

My eyes moved, with a great deal of effort. As my parents turned back to me, they screamed with delight and grabbed a nurse. Shouting that I was awake, my mother ran out of the room to the nurses’ station and my dad came closer to hold my hand. When he stroked my hair, I looked at him. His eyes were the last thing I saw.

I didn’t know where I went inside my mind, but for what seemed like forever, I was in space. I could hear nothing, see nothing. It was like a strange kind of sleep.

When I heard my mom’s voice, I forced my mind to come back to reality. This time, I couldn’t open my eyes. I still couldn’t move. The only thing I could do was listen to everyone talk. I heard my mom crying, to the person I assumed to be a doctor, begging him to save me . The two people talking to her tried to explain that I was gone. I was dead inside. The first time I heard that expression, I tried to open my eyes, scream, anything. I wanted so much to show them that I knew I was going to be fine. I had no way to communicate to the outside world anymore. I didn’t know how to tell everyone that I could hear them and beg them to hold on for just a bit longer. I would always be okay.

“She’s gone, ma’am,” the doctor said.

“You don’t know her. She’s not dead. She’s still in there, somewhere. Do everything you can, please,” I heard my mother’s body hit the floor in a frenzy of sobs.

“Gywn, maybe you should let her go,” was my dad’s response to her. Somehow, I saw that coming. Even in what could be my death, my father had no faith in me. Typical.

“Anthony, she’s going to live. When have you ever known her to give up? We need to get through to her…” My mother’s voice faded into static, then was completely gone. I was out again. I was amidst nothing but blackness. I felt my heart beat quicken, my mind panic. What seemed like seconds later, but may very well have been hours or even a day or two, I opened my eyes. Everything I saw was in third-person. I was looking at myself, my parents, and the two best friends I’d had my whole life: my brothers. I saw Levi, my baby brother, walk up to my bedside and kiss my cheek.

“I love you, sissy,” he said. He held my hand, and I saw a tear fall down onto my stiff hand. I wanted to hug him and tell him how much I loved him. But, I was a spectator right now. Not a participant.

Jordan, my oldest brother, was next. He didn’t say anything other than, “I love you.” He kissed me, and just kind of stared at me for a bit. The doctor came in and told my parents it was time. Jordan didn’t stay. He muttered something about not being able to watch this happen. Levi stayed. My dad stood at the door while my mother and my brother came to the left side of my bed and held my hand together. The doctor unplugged the life support machine, and a few seconds later, I heard a flat line.